So for better or worse, the choices I've made have lead me to where I'm at in life right now. And I hear lots of people say,"I wouldn't do anything different if I could" What a bunch bullshit that is. I sure as hell would change how I did things. Right or wrong my choices have made me who I am, and I'm just now beginning to see the shit I've done and become.
Now for all you people who are going to say that we are defined by our choices, and by changing them, you change who you are; I totally agree. But if I had done something differently, someone would be alive. Do you possibly know how heavy someones life can be, when you bare the guilt? What if by being 5 seconds faster, someone wouldn't have drowned? If I had trained harder, instead of goofing off?
But I also realized that I am my own opposition, and as weird as it is... I like it. Things have been weighing on my mind and I just don't know anymore. Right now I have all these feelings building inside of me and I just can't help but associate them all with Missouri.
Mostly I'm tired of being alone. Go sporadic thinking.
About Me
Muzak
Xfire
3 comments:
Hang in there! It is hard to live with the choices we've made sometimes and if I could go back and change things I would too. If you want to get out of MO we've got an extra bedroom/bathroom....I'm sure our landlords wouldn't care. Maybe we'll be in a house in the next year...Anyways. I know this doesn't mean much, but I love you :0)
P.S. having pink eye stinks!
Man, I feel ya there. I look back and there's a lot of things I'd change. I think when people are proud of a past that wasn't the greatest, it shows a lack of growth.
Post a Comment